Wednesday, January 27, 2010

i can't believe it's all about to end. what i've been working on for the past two years is about to be complete. honestly, i don't know what to feel about it. it's like having a really good friend tell you s/he's about to leave in time and that you won't see him/her again.

my project has been good company to me, though i must admit he's been pretty much a bitch most of the time keeping me up all night. this makes me wonder what i am to do when it's over. but at the same time relieved that i can finally have the luxury to roll over my bed anytime i wanted to. lol.

BUT
before i should get ahead of myself with the post thesis drama, i should make sure i REALLY finish my thesis before it's too late. haha.

in other news, Black's now friends with Oprah and Barbie, so much so that Oprah's been sniffing Black's butt quite often now, and has been poising to do the canine deed on Black everytime Black gets near her. i swear homosexual inter-specie relationships do not sound good. Oprah is one sick dog. i should prolly go stop them before they hurt each others feelings.


posted at around 4:37 PM
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Friday, January 15, 2010

me: meow meow meoowww?

Black: meooow.:(

me: meow meoow meoow. *huggg*

Black: meow meoww. *sigh*

me: meooow. *makes face*

Black: *stares at me and walks away*

this was me and my cat talking about how my mom ruthlessly threw away our two cats (which happen to be Black's mom and sister) to some random place so they can't find their way back.

can you blame me for feeling bad for the cat? everyday i go up to our rooftop i see Black and her sister running around scratching sofas, eating our food and torturing roaches (disgusting, i know. everytime they do this i stare at them and they stop, how cool is that?) whilst their mom was sitting by the derelict drum set watching her kids.

last night i saw Black walking around the house, which she rarely does constantly making cat sounds. i got annoyed with it as i was focusing on my shit, little did i know my evil mother threw away her family and she (Black) was looking for them.

i even saw Black trying to make friends with our dogs Barbie and Oprah (Barbie's blonde, and Oprah's black, racist i know. obviously, Black's well...a black cat. ) moving closer to Oprah, (i wondered why Black didn't approach Barbie, maybe Barbie's too blonde for her. ) but Oprah can't understand cats, Black just wanted company. Or maybe she just wanted Oprah's food.

i know how it feels to be alone, and having friends with you can make it all better. Black had her family with her, and now she's alone. torturing roaches won't be as fun without her sister, i guess.

(i never liked Black's sister, i used to lock her inside my room and smack her with my flops.)

posted at around 7:59 AM
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Thursday, January 14, 2010

i wonder, would people go to my basilica if it was really constructed?

not that i would since i don't go to church anymore.

posted at around 7:07 AM
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Saturday, January 02, 2010

Aut viam inveniam, aut Faciam.

Either I will find a way, or I shall make one. You should keep this in mind the whole year, and in every endeavour that comes your way.

So it's January 1, 2010. It's weird seeing that the first time. This past year has taught me a lot, and I won't ever forget the things it did. To make the most of what you have, and take nothing for granted.

Misery is just a tool of the devil to waste your time, but it can also be an instrument to make you strive for something better.

Either you will find your path, or you should make one.

Here's to a great year! (2010, be nice to me.)

ONE MORE MONTH! You better make it your best!

posted at around 1:48 AM
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Friday, December 04, 2009

so i can't think of anything to post.

poor beaver blog been idle for a couple of months now.

posted at around 12:46 AM
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

a kid was peeping by the door to the hut, trying to catch a glimpse of the meal that was being set up on the table. he was about half my height, and was thin for his age of 8. his brothers were outside, two of them playing by the duyan, singing random songs with his sibling as they were running around it with glee. a little girl was by the slope across the patch of greens, she was happily patting the dog on its head while another puppy was licking her knees, and a lady of late 30's to early 40's in age standing by her, watching as her family around her went on with their lives.

i was with my mom, dad and my pamangkin, and we were setting the table up for lunch. we were having fried fish, salted eggs, bread, cereals and tuyo. mum was cooking this other dish (i forgot the name), and dad was talking to one of his colleagues on the phone.

when mom signalled to us that it was time for lunch, we all sat down and ate. our caretaker prepared other things for the table, and grabbed 5 pieces of tuyo and bread for his family. my pamangkin, already obese for his age, ate like he hasn't eaten for days. he grabbed from every dish and slammed them on his plate, very reminiscent of his father when we were his age.

as i was nibbling on bread with cereals on my spoon, i saw the kid from earlier watch my pamangkin with that look on his face. i can imagine how he must be feeling, life is unfair, they were having a pretty nice meal when we were having this simple meal. my pamangkin probably ate a whole day's meal for the kid of our caretaker just for that lunch, when our caretaker's family had a pretty uninviting meal by their side.

don't worry, they had a share of the dish my mum made (i think it was afritada? or kaldereta, i can't really tell one from the other), she saw the look on the kids face too, and remembered that she forgot to ask if they wanted some.

i wouldn't forget that scene ever, i felt for the kid. and it's good that they had a home with our farm at the province, but i was thinking what if we weren't there? we only visited our province like twice a month, and that's the only time they can get a nice meal like what we had. it really struck me how much i have and take for granted, and how much they have to live with however simple they may be.

i wish there was something i can do about them.

-

i was thrown off balance as our car swerved abruptly to the left when a jeep inched closer to the right of our car. my dad opened up the window by the passenger seat and shouted at the driver who seemed unaffected by what he just did, and my mom telling off my dad to just let it go.

it was a rainy afternoon as cars, pedicabs and people littered the streets of our neighborhood. the jeeps, annoying as they already are, upped it all by a notch as it was the usual hour of dismissal for high school students. my dad was, as with every other day when he drives me to school, raving about how bad our roads are. he never runs out of things to say about it, or at least never gets tired of bashing it no matter how redundant he already sounds.

as he was talking to my mum about their work, i distracted myself with the view from outside our car. we stopped with the red light, by a hospital along this road we always take to my school, and as it turned green we went on when a tricycle suddenly zoomed in front of us to the other lane, fueling dad's rage about the roads even more. i couldn't help but feel tired of his rants about it, as this was the scene every time i'm riding with them.

there was traffic along the avenida, and the rain poured outside. a street kid was walking with bare feet on the ashphalt with a bucket on one hand and a rag on the other. he stopped by this car in front of us and started washing the window by the driver, scrubbing it with all his might, trying to reach it because he wasn't even tall enough to reach the top of the window. when he was done with it, he knocked on the window and had his palm up asking for alms.

the green light went on.

and the car drove off.

"tsk, ang swerte talaga ng mga anak ko." and dad went on with his road bashing.

posted at around 10:27 PM
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Sunday, June 14, 2009

semi transparent glass.

transparent glass.

orange tinted glass.

yellow tinted glass.

translucent materials.

more of my test renders.

i haven't been posting anything on this site. i've seem to have lost interest in writing (or just lack the inspirations of doing so), and i find sharing dragging everyday life a boring topic so i'd rather not write anything at all. i don't know if anyone out there honestly reads through my nonsense, but yeah i'd rather share about my sad/happy/soppy/emotional life than anything else if you people have noticed.

i've been bored and stuck at home for most of the summer. and it's frikkin getting to my head, lol. what have i been busy with? a surprisingly addictive game about plants fighting off zombies, haha. what else? hmm, i've been trying to play (ew, play?) with the settings on 3ds max so that i'd finally have photo realistic renderings and not comicky ones like what i had for my plates.

so far i've been able to get the hang of interior rendering, i think? i've gotten used to mental ray for my 3ds max renderings, but as everyone else would prefer vray for it i'm struggling with understanding new settings and shiz. but i agree that it does look more realistic than mental ray, or maybe i wasn't around mental ray that much to get to that good part but whatever.

who said summer's supposed to be for beaches, parties and anything unrelated to school, haha. i guess that's not for me. :)

posted at around 8:36 AM
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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Beaver
Genera and species: Castor canadensis

Collective Term: A business of beavers

Description
Beavers are the workaholics of the animal world.

No animal personality places more emphasis, nor derives more self-esteem than beavers do from their careers. Organized and structured, their determined attitudes spill over into all aspects of their busy lives and they plan for the future almost unconsciously. Decisions made regarding their relationships, careers and families are methodically and practically prepared, and they are most comfortable at work or ensconced in their fastidiously decorated homes. In their spare time, beavers love to busy themselves around the house or tend their precisely manicured lawns.

The beaver is an eager lover and its relationships seem to survive the most difficult challenges, for once a beaver has made a commitment to its partner, it will move water and earth to uphold its promise. They are passionate but hardly imaginative in their lovemaking, for their partners' approval is too important to gamble with risky play. This makes the beaver unique amongst the water mammals who are usually willing to get their feet wet. But, even with their conservative libidos, beavers are still attracted to casual relationships with the free-spirited aquatic dolphins, sea lions, walruses, and otters.

While others are playing, beavers are usually hard at work. They are well prepared for any eventuality and their homes are well stocked with spare water, emergency radios and survival kits. Even the beaver is not sure why it spends such energy in securing its home, but it instinctively feel more comfortable when it does.

Beaver personalities come in all shapes and sizes. Generally in good physical condition, they find time to keep fit even with their busy work schedules. Their conscientious attitudes makes them dependable as friends and a commitment from a beaver is like money in the bank.

Family life is important to beavers although they generally have few offspring. As parents, they are predictably reliable but fight a tendency to be over-controlling. By keeping a close eye on their children's progress in school, their offspring are under constant pressure to perform to the beavers' high level of expectation. As they grow older, children are expected help with supporting the family.

Beavers are patient listeners although they rarely follow advice. While they might confide in a close friend about personal issues, they usually choose to internalize their feelings instead. And a beaver wouldn't dream of confronting someone with whom it has a problem. It would much rather blow off steam by complaining behind their backs or by punishing them in subtle ways.

-

lol.

posted at around 9:59 PM
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

: i've given it much thought, na although i really am sad na we're not together now, it's just hard living through someone you talk to only on the internet and the fone.
: after a year of doing that (and only three weeks of being together), i think all i need is someone i could be with as in BE WITH physically.
: alam mo un?
: i'm not talking about sex here, just the companionship and shit like that.
: it's so hard going through problems at home and at school and all you have for companionship is an emoticon on ym or a sigh on the fone.
: and at the end of the day you'll try sleeping and wish you had someone with you trying to make you feel better.
: diba?

posted at around 10:19 PM
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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Naiinis ako! Argh!

posted at around 4:15 AM
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me



    hello guys, and welcome to my world, haha. i'm arts. a 21 year old senior SENIOR (5th year? lol.) student currently taking up architecture in the University of Santo Tomas. Here you'll see my utterly pointless rants that go on and on about my radical thoughts and some undefined syllogisms on my own perspective of what life is, how i deal with the seemingly asymptotic relationship of what i want and the percentage probability of its realization, the tangency of drama and my everyday life that never reached the state of complete equillibrium, almost anything that is about the ME you guys have an idea of equal to the value of the unknown x in the algebraic expression (x-a)(x-b)...(x-z). If you think there's an error with anything that I say in my entries then tell me. Comments or any thing you want to say, just tag.

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